‘I get $1,460 in Social Security’: My millionaire ex-husband, 74, refuses to pay alimony. What can I do?
If your divorce decree awards you alimony and your ex simply stopped paying, you likely have strong tools to enforce the order—even if he’s retired. If there was never an alimony order (or you waived it), your options are narrower, but you may still be able to improve your cash flow through Social Security and other avenues. Here’s how to triage the situation.
1) Start with the paperwork
– Pull your divorce judgment, any marital settlement agreement, and all later court orders. Note:
– Whether alimony/spousal support was awarded, the amount, start/end dates, and any conditions for ending (remarriage, cohabitation, retirement).
– Whether the court “reserved” jurisdiction to award or modify alimony later.
– Any language about cost-of-living adjustments, interest on arrears, and attorney’s fees.
– Gather proof of nonpayment: bank records, prior payment history, texts/emails, and your budget.
2) If alimony was ordered, enforce it
– File a motion to enforce and for contempt in the family court that issued the order. Ask for:
– A judgment for arrears plus statutory interest.
– Ongoing income withholding/garnishment.
– Attorney’s fees and costs.
– Asset discovery (subpoenas for bank/brokerage accounts, tax returns, retirement plans, business interests).
– Enforcement tools a judge may authorize:
– Garnishment of income, including Social Security retirement benefits for support (federal law permits this), pensions, annuities, rents, and certain business income.
– Liens on real estate and personal property; levy of bank and brokerage accounts.
– Interception of government payments (other than SSI).
– Seizure/sale of assets if he ignores orders; in extreme cases, contempt sanctions.
– If he moved to another state, your order can be enforced there under the Uniform Interstate Family Support Act (UIFSA).
Key points:
– Retirement is not a blank check to stop paying. He must seek a court modification. Unpaid support that accrued before any modification is usually still owed.
– Statutes of limitation on collecting spousal support arrears vary by state; many allow judgments to be renewed. Act promptly to preserve claims and interest.
3) If alimony wasn’t ordered (or was waived)
– In many states, you can’t request alimony for the first time after the divorce is final unless the court “reserved” jurisdiction. If the decree is silent and includes a waiver, options are limited.
– Possible exceptions:
– Material fraud or concealment of assets at the time of divorce may let you reopen parts of the case.
– If jurisdiction was reserved, you can petition now based on need and his ability to pay.
– Some states allow limited “maintenance” even post-judgment in narrow circumstances. A local attorney can assess this quickly.
4) Use Social Security to raise your monthly income
Even if alimony is uncertain, Social Security might boost your benefit independently of your ex’s cooperation.
– Divorced-spouse benefit:
– You may receive up to 50% of your ex-husband’s “primary insurance amount” (his full retirement-age benefit), if:
– Your marriage lasted at least 10 years.
– You’re currently unmarried.
– You’re age 62+.
– Your own retirement benefit is lower than the divorced-spouse amount.
– You don’t need his permission and he doesn’t need to be claiming, as long as you’ve been divorced at least two years and he’s age-eligible.
– If you already claimed your own benefit, Social Security pays the higher of the two, not both. If you’re at or past your full retirement age, there’s no reduction.
– Divorced survivor benefit:
– If your ex dies and the marriage lasted at least 10 years, you can receive up to 100% of his benefit (reduced if claimed before survivor full retirement age). You can qualify even if you remarried after age 60.
– How to check:
– Call Social Security at 800-772-1213 or create an account at ssa.gov/myaccount and ask whether you qualify for a divorced-spouse or survivor benefit now, and for an estimate of the amount. Bring your marriage certificate and divorce decree if you apply at a field office.
5) Practical collection tips if he’s “asset rich”
– Bank and brokerage levies: A judgment for arrears can often be executed against accounts. Your lawyer can pursue turnover orders.
– Real estate liens: Recording a support judgment can cloud title and pressure payment.
– Retirement plans: If a private pension or 401(k) was divided in the divorce but never split, a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) may still be available to implement the division.
– Trusts and transfers: If he moved assets to shield them, your attorney can evaluate fraudulent transfer claims.
6) Taxes and budgeting
– Tax treatment of alimony depends on the date of your divorce:
– Finalized 2018 or earlier: alimony is generally taxable to you and deductible to him (unless modified to adopt new rules).
– Finalized 2019 or later: alimony is generally tax-free to you and not deductible to him.
– If your income is tight, review:
– Medicare Savings Programs (may pay Part B premiums), Extra Help for Part D, SNAP, property-tax/rent relief for seniors, utility assistance, and Medicaid long-term care eligibility if needed. A local Area Agency on Aging can screen you.
7) Get local legal help
– Family-law attorney: Ask for an enforcement-focused consult. Many offer reduced-fee initial meetings; legal aid and bar associations often have senior/pro bono panels.
– Bring your decree, timeline of payments missed, and a goal list (arrears, ongoing withholding, fees).
– Ask about:
– How quickly you can secure a wage/benefit withholding or bank levy.
– Expected interest on arrears and fee shifting.
– Whether your state’s child support enforcement unit will assist with spousal support (some will only if child support is also owed).
Bottom line
– If a court ordered alimony, refusal to pay is enforceable. Move quickly to lock in arrears, interest, and collection remedies, including garnishing his Social Security.
– If alimony wasn’t ordered or was waived, focus on Social Security divorced-spouse and survivor benefits and any paths to reopen or reserve support under your state’s law.
– A short meeting with a local family-law attorney and a call to Social Security can materially increase your monthly income.
This article provides general information, not legal advice. Laws vary widely by state; consult a qualified attorney in your jurisdiction.
